Special Quality
by sbyamibakura
Summary: Dedicated to MiaoShou. L/Light, Matt/Near/Mello. We are all defined by that one special quality; if only we knew what that quality was...


Special Quality

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: Death Note is owned by the fantastic people known as Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for sex, yaoi-ness, erotic cake eating (yes that qualifies as a warning XD), silliness, crack!fic-ish, slight crossover-ness (fo' shizzle? O.o),

Pairings: L/Light, Matt/Near/Mello, Renji/Ichigo (yes, you read that right)

Setting: None in particular, as a lot of these go all over the place in the time-line, and AU territory.

Summary: We are all defined by that one special quality; if only we knew what that quality was...

A/N: This is all for MiaoShou, since Miao-kun has come back to with a new story (woot!) I have promised a fic in return--and I deliver! I hope you enjoy this! XD

- -- - - -- -

L Lawliet had been trained to deal with the worst sorts of situations--wars, negotiations, terrorists...--but never, in any of his trials or studies, had he been forced to deal with a situations such as this.

...eyes gleaming, a flash of silver--

A wet pink slides around a swirl of white and red...

"Mmm..."

Sounds like that should be _illegal_. In fact, that would be next on his agenda after solving the Kira case. Hearing noises such as those made it very hard to concentrate on the things at hand. Well, it brought to mind other things to do with "hands" and that didn't help either.

Glare. "I thought you didn't like sweets, Light-kun."

"I don't really, but I like watching you squirm, Ryuuzaki-san." Smirk. "And if you keep on with that mouth, I won't let you eat some off me later."

Clunk!

L was too busy staring at Light, naughty ideas rolling around in his head to realize that Chief Yagami had sort of seized up and just fainted.

He had to make sure Watari brought up extra cake today--!

- -- - - -- -

Idea one: Near

"Damnit, Near! _No you can't take your Gundam's in with you!_"

No dice. So! Idea Two: Matt

"_For the last time--they don't make waterproof Nintendo DS!_"

Well, shit. Well if they wanted to be like that, then that left Mello little choice...

Idea Three: RAGE!

"I'll buy you three new games!" He points at them. "And I'll buy _you_ all the fucking gundams you want. So get in this goddamn shower so we can fuck already!"

"...you just had to ask, Mello." replied Near mildly.

"Yeah, I mean I got to my save point and everything, so--" said Matt.

AGH!

- -- - - -- -

"So from now on we will be together twenty-four hours a day, Yagami-kun, held together by the chains of fate." He jangles the handcuff chain in emphasis.

"No, you can't do this to my Light!" protested Misa. "Doesn't he get any say in this?!"

"That's right!" replied Light, looking indignant.

Misa smiles widely.

"I think that six feet is way too far away from each other! Can't we shorten the leash, so to speak?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

- -- - - -- -

"Uh-mmm, oh my god this is so _good_!"

"I can't believe they actually look like that! It's so different than mine! Can I touch it...?"

"Sure! Just be careful; I just got it out so it might still be a little stiff."

"Oh of course! I wouldn't want anything to happen to it! Then how could I use it?"

"Let me see yours...oh, wow look at the shape! It's amazing."

"Mmm....so great. Oh man, I-I'm so excited."

"Don't go too fast, you might damage it!"

"Don't worry, I'm a master at this. Ughn, so this just goes here--"

"Ooh, I--"

"THAT'S ENOUGH DAMNIT!"

He pushes open the door with a bang.

Matt and Near look up at him from the floor and raise brows at him, surrounded by action figures just taken out of the box.

He faceplants.

God, this was what he deserved, for getting together with two fucking otaku's.

o oo o o oo o

--If the Entrance Ceremony had gone differently--

"But...there is something else I need to tell you, Yagami-kun."

_What on Earth is Ryuga going on about?_

"Of course, Ryuga--"

"_I am..._"

Yes...wait, he couldn't possibly be saying that he really was--!

_"so distracted by you in those pants. _Really, it was all I could do to get up those steps to make that speech."

o oo o o oo o

--If L's death scene in the manga/anime had gone slightly differently...--

Clatter!

L's spoon falls to the ground just a moment before he does. Light catches L and holds him close; a little closer than necessary, but his nemesis was about to die and he wouldn't be able to grope him again, so he was making the most out of it.

"L-Light-kun..." breathed L. His eyes look up at Light.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?" said Light, leaning down to listen better.

"Chibitalia is too moe," whines L.

"Uh..." says Light, stunned. _This is what he's wasting his forty seconds on?_

o oo o o oo o

--Today class, we learn about Shinigami...--

"What the hell?!"

"Hey dude, get back! It's a hollow!"

"A _what?!_"

Grargh! The big beast gets sliced in two by the guy (who's orange hair _must _be dyed) who was using a large sword, while Light looks on in complete and utter shock.

_I just left L's headquarters to get some more whipped cream! (After last night, we definitely need more--) but what the hell is all of this? Was that big thing a shinigami? But how could he kill a God of Death? _

Suddenly another guy, who was dressed in the same black clothes as the other guy, comes almost out of nowhere. He had long red hair that was held back in a ponytail.

"Hey..." the red hair grins, turning to look at Light. "Well lookie here...no wonder ya ran off so fast, Ichigo. Trying ta keep all the pretty ones to yourself!"

"Shut up, Renji!" said Ichigo, flushing. He turns to Light. "You have to be more careful. Hollows like to target...people like you."

Renji snickers. Ichigo glares at him.

"Who the hell are you guys?!" shrieked Light, all calm out the window. He screamed rather girly too, but he would never ever admit that; he'd take the Eyes before he admitted that.

"We're Shinigami." Renji says with a shrug.

Wait..._what?!_

Light whips around to look at Ryuk, who had been hovering behind him the whole time.

"Why do they have weapons and you don't? You don't even look like them!"

Ryuk sighs. He starts to yank his face off. Light screams like a little girl while Ichigo and Renji hold on tightly to each other, shaking with fear. The Shinigami throws his "face" to the ground, to reveal a young-ish looking guy with really long brown hair that was held in a braid.

"And my name's not Ryuk." "Ryuk" confesses. "My name is Duo Maxwell."

He grins cheekily.

- -- - - -- -

A/N:...I'm sorry, Miao-kun; I have no excuse. Wait, yes I do! lol

I BLAME ALL OF THIS ON HETALIA: AXIS POWERS. YES I DO. (Something so crack!ish should not be so addicting/awesome. I have also been sucked into the web that is Hetalia D:)

I also blame L-kun; he did not want to cooperate whatsoever. Everytime I tried to redo the first scene to start it to become more drama-ish and smutty, it kept going down the crack!route.

I really enjoyed writing this though; I'm not known for doing a lot of humorous fics, so I'm glad that I pulled this off in the way I wanted.)

ALSO: Duo Maxwell, for those of you that have been under a rock for the past few years, is from the BEST Gundam series; Gundam Wing. And in the series, he is known as a Shinigami/God of Death. And of course Ichigo and Renji are from Bleach, and are also known as Shinigami/Soul Reapers.

I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

--PhoenixJustice


End file.
